Select Page

Recap: Broad City S0106 – Stolen Phone

Recap: Broad City S0106 – Stolen Phone

Ilana Explains Why She Needs a Burner for All the Dick Pics in “Stolen Phone”

stolen phone from broad city

Image courtesy of Comedy Central

This week, Ilana and Abbi find themselves on the quest for some good strange, which leads them on an array of hilarious, cooky, and sexy adventures all over the city.

Things begin in the strangest of places, the Internet, where the gals are unlucky in securing a hook up. It is awfully competitive out there, after all. I mean, one of the dudes likes Roseanne. Ilana proclaims, “the Internet is so 90’s.” Besides, she is “craving pink dick,” so they head out to a bar in real life.  Abbi meets a great looking dude, promises to text him back, and then promptly loses her phone. Ilana helps Abbi spend most of the episode trying to get it back, especially before this dream bro texts her.

abbi jacobson and ilana glazer are broad city

Image courtesy of Comedy Central

Tracking the phone, the gals surmise that a tourist is the culprit of this stolen phone. They head to the freakish Upper East Side, where a Patrick Bateman could pop out any moment. It’s not all scary though, you can get caricatures there!  Abbi does find the eating-cupcakes-on-the-toilet-loving lady, who accidentally swiped her phone. She gets her phone back and does meet up with her dream dude from earlier, but he turns out be the most boring person ever. The Silver Lining Playbook is she still bangs this hot guy, anyway.

ilana glazer craves some pink dick in stolen phone

Image courtesy of Comedy Central

Ilana meets an equally hot fellow, who is seemingly the perfect man, with a really pink dick (almost as good as a black dick). Things start off very well, but Ilana is more than startled at the horror of the guy’s improv troupe, Statutory Crepe. After watching it, Abbi feels, “hate-crimed.” Later in the evening, Ilana can no longer get off with him anymore, because the improv was so bad… except for his horny robot bit.

The gals didn’t meet their Mr. Big in “Stolen Phone,” but they do have each other, plus Lincoln, who’s like the coolest, most awesome, raddest person ever. In a beautiful conclusion, Abbi totally watches, as Ilana and Lincoln smash their own faces into cakes.

*Much like life, television can be unforgiving, unfair, and cruel. With that in mind, it is a glorious and wonderful time for all, as Broad City has been renewed for a second season. Get stoned. Get fucked. Get weird.

Next week: “Hurricane Wanda”

About The Author

Awesome Comments

  • elpablo pooptastic

    If I wanted a summary I’d go to my channel guide. Why would anyone read a sentence by sentence summary of what we just watced pooptastic

    • I work at a pizza joint called Papa Gino’s, which is a chain here in New England. Today, two guys came in, and they were very obviously a couple. Never in my life have I seen people this blatantly gay. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a bleeding heart liberal hippie treehugger commie bastard, and I’m even bisexual myself, but DAMN these two were gay. Everything was going fine, right up until I served them their food. Instead of the usual “enjoy your meal” bit that I usually say, something seized control of my brain.

      “There you are, guys. Enjoy your AIDS.” As soon as that A passed my lips, alarm bells went nuts in my head. But it was too late. I didn’t realize what I had just done until I had finished speaking. The two guys just stared at me in shock for a momment, and I went pale. I knew that my days of free pizza and all the Mountain Dew I could drink were over in that one instant.

      The two dudes go DIPSHIT. My manager comes over, and there’s screaming about hate crimes, bigotry, lawsuits, and one of them even stood up and threatened to beat the shit out of me. We got into a fight, and my manager got scared, and said youre moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air.

      I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said “fresh” and there were dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought “naw forget it, yo home to bel-air!”

      I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabbie “yo homes smell ya later!” Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there. To sit on my throne as the prince of bel-air.

    • Stanton Brasher

      Your channel guide doesn’t drop near as many fuckbombs.

%d bloggers like this: