Recap: Broad City S0106 – Stolen Phone
Ilana Explains Why She Needs a Burner for All the Dick Pics in “Stolen Phone”
This week, Ilana and Abbi find themselves on the quest for some good strange, which leads them on an array of hilarious, cooky, and sexy adventures all over the city.
Things begin in the strangest of places, the Internet, where the gals are unlucky in securing a hook up. It is awfully competitive out there, after all. I mean, one of the dudes likes Roseanne. Ilana proclaims, “the Internet is so 90’s.” Besides, she is “craving pink dick,” so they head out to a bar in real life. Abbi meets a great looking dude, promises to text him back, and then promptly loses her phone. Ilana helps Abbi spend most of the episode trying to get it back, especially before this dream bro texts her.
Tracking the phone, the gals surmise that a tourist is the culprit of this stolen phone. They head to the freakish Upper East Side, where a Patrick Bateman could pop out any moment. It’s not all scary though, you can get caricatures there! Abbi does find the eating-cupcakes-on-the-toilet-loving lady, who accidentally swiped her phone. She gets her phone back and does meet up with her dream dude from earlier, but he turns out be the most boring person ever. The Silver Lining Playbook is she still bangs this hot guy, anyway.
Ilana meets an equally hot fellow, who is seemingly the perfect man, with a really pink dick (almost as good as a black dick). Things start off very well, but Ilana is more than startled at the horror of the guy’s improv troupe, Statutory Crepe. After watching it, Abbi feels, “hate-crimed.” Later in the evening, Ilana can no longer get off with him anymore, because the improv was so bad… except for his horny robot bit.
The gals didn’t meet their Mr. Big in “Stolen Phone,” but they do have each other, plus Lincoln, who’s like the coolest, most awesome, raddest person ever. In a beautiful conclusion, Abbi totally watches, as Ilana and Lincoln smash their own faces into cakes.
*Much like life, television can be unforgiving, unfair, and cruel. With that in mind, it is a glorious and wonderful time for all, as Broad City has been renewed for a second season. Get stoned. Get fucked. Get weird.
Next week: “Hurricane Wanda”