SNF: Mario Bros. Vs. Sonic and Tails
SNF Video Game Doubles Match Up: Mario and Luigi Vs. Sonic and Tails
Two iconic duos from early generation video game systems are brought together for this week’s SNF(Sunday Night Fight), in the original plumbers with powers, The Mario Bros., and the teenage talking animal speedsters, Sonic and Tails. Mario has sold over 210 million units in his career, and Sonic has sold a mere 90 million, but Mario has the longer history, going back to the original Donkey Kong (1981). Sonic first debuted in 1991 on his self titled 16-bit game, Sonic the Hedgehog. Both of our flagship heroes started off solo, then brought in a sidekick to help them out.
Mario kept the same sidekick throughout his career, his ever reliable baby brother Luigi. They remain a dynamic duo to be reckoned with after 30 years of sharing pipes. Luigi is taller than Mario, and has different taste in color, although originally they were the same size. Sonic brought Tails in for Sonic 2. Tails is Sonic’s fox friend born with two tales. Ostracized by the normal one-tailed foxes, Sonic took Tails in. Sonic has a thing for deformed dudes, so he took Tales in as a sidekick and lover. Sonic eventually left Tails for Knuckles, who has much larger hands.
Team Sonic is youthful, and Team Mario is wise.
Age before beauty says Mario is up to bat:
Mario and Luigi, those two are serial killers.
Mario: fire flower, ice flower, raccoon suit, star, mushroom, cape, two other mushrooms.
Sonic: he can run and jump.
The Mario Brothers could shoot fire balls, turn into giants, and they even had that odd raccoon outfit that could them make fly. What, Sonic can run fast? Not impressed. Mario and Luigi would do scared straight type of stuff to Sonic.
Mario always retains his coins, yet Sonic drops all of his if you look at him funny. Mario would get a fire flower and super stomp all the gold rings out of sonic. Then he would throw a red shell at him from his go-kart. Sonic would try to retaliate, but no way mofo, Mario just got a star and is now invincible. Then he would pick up all of Sonics rings, eat a mushroom and deuce the fuck out.
Mario and Luigi, because when it comes down to thick and thin, family sticks together. And Mario and Luigi are Italian. Italians got family. We won’t speak on it any further than that to remain safe. Mario and Luigi are Italians that fix “leaky pipes”. I think there is a little more to it than that. Mario and Luigi have done some dirt. So, Sonic and Tails have the youth and skill, but Mario and Luigi have the experience and expertise. Let’s not even talk about how post 9/11 Mario and Luigi. Talk about some pissed off New Yorkers with firepower…
Mario alone would kick Sonic’s ass, take the rings and have, like, 20 princesses and keep them in their goddamn castles.
Mario and Luigi, easy.
Hit Count: 6
Sonic and Tails
>70’s porno staches
>50 years before they plumb anything in canon
>Sanic only has one job
>GOTTA GO FAST
Sonic can use chaos control.
Sonic’s super speed, I think, is the clear advantage. And he can go Super Sonic. He has hand-to-hand combat skills. In the original Mario Bros, all they can do is “run” (it looks more like awkward jack-knife walking) and jump on stuff. And that magically “kills” the creatures. Super lame.
…in a battle, strictly based on powers and skills, I might have to go with Sonic… and that pains me.
Although this would be a tough fight, I do have to say that Sonic and Tails would come out on top (or at least Sonic, as Tails might end up a casualty of war).
While Mario’s exploits are many, and he has plenty of resources to avail himself of, his talents are more suited to platforming – obstacle navigation and problem solving. Whereas Sonic on the other hand, who is no stranger to the navigation of said death traps, really shines through when tasked with taking on a super powered foe mano a mano.
Again that’s not to say Mario wouldn’t give Sonic a run for his money. That’s not even to say that Mario and Luigi are the inferior video game characters. It’s just to say that Sonic and Co. is more suited for combat – at least the kind that Mario Bros. are bringing to the table.
Mario’s made for getting to the boss. Sonic is made for kicking the boss’ ass. Therefore, Sonic wins.
Hit Count: 5
Well, that settles it in the bullpen, but now it is up to you to decide. Vote below to be heard and make a difference in something that really matters…