Throwback Thursday: 5 Reasons I Wanted to be in Full House
Every person born between 1980 and 1995 should have fond Full House memories
Full House was a wholesome family television show that stole our hearts in the late ’80s and early ’90s. We all tuned in to see what trouble D.J., Stephanie, and Michelle Tanner were getting into. Hell, there were even books about this all-American family and their humorous antics. I may have read them all. Step off.
After following the show for so long, I began to wish I could be a part of the family. Do not get me wrong, I love my family, but occasionally I wished I could join the Tanner cast and their wacky hijinks! Why, you may ask? Well please, allow me to tell you.
5. I wanted my own tagline.
Everyone on the show had their own tagline and, dammit, I loved it when they used it! These taglines cemented the character’s place in your heart, and even made you think you could possibly use them in your everyday life. You can’t, so stop that. Michelle had “You got it dude!” Stephanie had “How rude!” Joey had “Cut … it … out.” I am not sure what mine would have been, but I feel like it would involve llamas.
Hey, small child, gimme yo ice cream!
4. There was a lot of ice cream.
Did you have a bad day? Did you do something special? Did you drive your dad’s car through the kitchen? Well, I believe you need a bowl of ice cream! Dessert was not common in my household, so I was always so envious of their perfectly constructed frozen treats.
The Beach Boys sing in my living room all of the time. No big deal.
3. To meet the Beach Boys.
I actually did this with two of the remaining members up at a local casino, and one of them had totally lost his marbles. He requested to be called Dr. Love and did not want anyone to touch his V8, which he was hugging. But they were nice, and I had fun watching them perform. Point being, this could have all happened way earlier in my life and been a lifelong bond had I been a part of Full House. I could have even sung in my house with them! I was so deprived.
My fist is coming for your face.
2. I wanted to punch Kimmy Gibbler.
I am all for the goofy girl on a show, and Kimmy even grew on me in the later seasons, but gosh darn it, I spent the majority of my Full House-loving career wanting to walk on that set and just smack her. After a good knock around, I could explain to her why the family isolates and picks on her, ultimately doing her a favor. You are welcome Kimmy Gibbler.
Oh Uncle Jesse, you make me swoon.
1. Uncle Jesse.
I don’t feel like I need to say much here. We all know John Stamos is smoking, and seeing him be so sweet with the young cast, well, that just sealed the deal. Now he does Greek yogurt commercials (oh how the mighty have fallen), but he still looks dreamy with that perfectly coiffed hair and those beautiful eyes a girl could get lost in.
I may have missed the boat on joining the cast, but I still have fond memories of the Tanner clan. Perhaps someday I can form my own and use the lessons I have learned to have the perfect family. If not, I can at least get a Lauren Paz sitcom.